Surprise maternity wedding to plan

by Jalie
(Chichester)

My FH and I just found out that we are pregnant. We're so happy and excited but it changes our wedding plans a lot! Because I am due in July, but we have our wedding planned for Setember, we are trying to move the wedding date forward to this spring. We want to save most of the money we were going to spend on the wedding reception and put it towards a down paymnent on a new house. Security for our (new) family suddenly seems so much more important that champagne and canapes! I must be getting the nesting instinct early. I guess I'm old-fashioned, but we do want to be married when our baby arrives. And I want our child to have his father's name from Day 1.

So we've replanned and now we're going to have an intimate family wedding instead of our original plans to throw a 'big bash' for nearly 200 friends qnd family.

Only problem is that Mom has my shower planned already. Not only that, but she and FMIL want to throw the shower for all of the guests we were originally planning to invite. I don't think it's right to expect people to come to my shower and bring gifts when I'm not inviting them to share my wedding. It seems mean to me, I but just can't persuade them! Mom thinks it would be tasteless to have a combined wedding / baby shower - which is what most of my friends have suggested.

I love my Mom so much and I don't want to fall out with her or my FMIL over this, especially as I know I'll need them so much after our baby arrives, but I don't want everyone thinking I'm greedy either. Help!

Would love to hear any suggestions for how to keep the peace (except eloping - that would upset my Dad way too much!!)